Angels, Vampires, and
Douche Bags Outline

The world’s first comedic motivational book!

What do Mexican millionaires, nudist colonies, armed robberies, horny jockeys and lesbian erotica have in common? They all figure prominently in the hilarious and inspiring “Angels, Vampires, and Douche Bags”, a motivational book like no other. In this candid confessional, comedian Carla Collins divides the world into three categories: the angels who guide us, inspire us and often save our proverbial butts; the sexy and trendy vampires who, although seductive, may ultimately suck the life out of us; and the douche bags who constantly annoy, disgust and taunt.
Collins dispenses uncommon advice on recognizing and handling the angels, vampires, and douche bags in your life by sharing her unconventional journey from a small steel town to Tinsel town. On her way from Canadian Eh-lister to marrying into Hollywood royalty, she introduces us to a wonderful and crazy cast of real-life characters including a chatty lap dancer, a dead mother-in-law and a psychic colon therapist.
On this wild and revealing romp, readers will discover that by taking risks, embracing humiliation and tapping into the power of laughter anything is possible and everyone is manageable.
With a fast wit, fake breasts and real heart, the author navigates her way through 72 imaginary friends, dozens of celebrities, multiple fiancés, 8 dogs, 2 marriages and one topless grandmother. Her hard-earned life lessons will make it easy for you to attract more angels into your life, control your vampires and keep all the douche bags at bay. “Angels, Vampires, and Douche Bags” is original, edgy, uplifting and laugh-out-loud funny.